At a conference, buddy has no idea how to go down a water slide. He goes down like a 6 yr old on his bum. We go back up to the top and the girl (maybe 19) says to my buddy ‘you are too stiff’ to which he instantly replies ‘I’ve been told that before’. Epic. I launch myself into the slide leaving him standing there awkwardly. We are in our mid 30′s.
I was so drunk and went to go jack off, long story short I got up and I thought I was gonna cum but pissed all over my new computer.
Got fucked up at this party and I tried fucking my best friends girlfriends. My 5 friends all hate me now and that night I ended up ruining 3 relationships and no longer talk to my 5 good friends.
I was so drunk at this party one night me and a friend took a kid home my friend didn’t wanna go back to the party but i did so he dropped me off on a 2 track which i thought was the right one but ended walking in a random field for about 20 minuets realized that i was lost went back to the road ended up getting picked up by a cop sloshed told the cop i was walking to my uncles house told him the address to the party he took me there and he knew something was fishy he got looked around didn’t find anything and let me go ended up staying at the party lucky as shit.
Me and my two friends were so drunk at an (I am hard well) event that we didn’t even knew what songs he played for three hours. I kept on pulling random girls and then started to dry hump them, telling them that I am male a striper.
One of my friend lost his phone (galaxy S4) and his shoes.
He was wearing his belt through his neck and kept telling people it was his pet snake.
We lost one of our friend only to find out that he was holding his glow sticks in his hand like wolverine and asking people where he can find Magneto.
At a house party my friend was so drunk he stole a shovel and started digging out a street sign. He was shouting “Jane I love you! I’ll give you this street sign as a gift!” But then he had to realize that the sign had a 100kg concrete weight underground. He digged out the whole thing, then tried to pull out the sign while screaming for help. “Help me you bullmonkey!” (what the fuck is a bullmonkey?) Suddenly a car came by. The driver asked him what the hell was he doing. He said “I’m trying to be compelling to a girl. Im the compellator!” 4 years later the sign is still 90° slanted.
I was so drunk, I turned my USB charger around before I plugged it in… And it worked.
I was so drunk last night that I puked everywhere in front of my mom and my future boss.
I was so drunk one day at uni because I caught up with some mates at a student bar. After a few too many beers we all headed off to my lecture, where we sat at the front row singing Kenny Rogers ‘The Gambler’. Next thing I know I’m vomiting in the ladies bathroom, and the rest is a blur.
I was so drunk that I tried to type the full story but it exceeded the 600 character limit. Long story short, me and my wingman got plastered at a ratchet bar, got ripped off by a gap toothed hooker while the police dragged me from the wrong motel room to mine, only to contemplate the origin on period blood on the bed and the locations of our missing wallets. Went to work 2 hours later and spent the day half drunk and strung out on caffeine pills, only to drown our sorrows at the same bar and hire another hooker.
Once I got so drunk off of half a gallon of Captains on my 22nd birthday I woke up on a state road to three cops with flashlights. They asked if I knew the time I said “a little after 12am?” They said “No almost 5am” I said “I’m sorry I’m totally shitfaaaaaced” they sent me to the hospital.
Once I got so drunk at my best fiends ex’s birthday party I pissed on the neighbors state cop car.
Once I was so drunk, that my friend’s green sandwich maker caught my eye as I believed it was a Transformer. After carrying it around for a while, I decided to put it in a near death situation so that it would transform. I threw it over the balcony, and ended up havng to buy a new one.
I was so drunk at a party and ended up wondering through a forest, my bra was unclipped and it was so uncomfortable so I threw it off my body then I tripped and lost both of my shoes. my mom picked me up with no bra and no shoes and she didn’t even notice.
I was so drunk that after I left a party with a few friends they lost me in a parking lot and had to search 30 mins for me only to find me passed out near a car.
Me and my friends were 16, we were out partying and I ended up downing half a liter of vodka in about 30 minutes. Puked for about 2 hours before my friends carried me to a friend’s moms car and drove me home and carried me to bed. I got up 9 in the morning the next day, still hammered to go to my girlfriend’s graduation.
I got really drunk at a party and stood up on top of a table and said I was a stripper. I tried to fight my bestfriend, and I ended up in the hospital from too much alcohol assumption. Let’s just say i hate alcohol.
I was so drunk yesterday night at a music festival that this guy came up to me and asked if I’d like to join his freestyle dancing group. All I did was try to get from the stage to the bar.
I was so drunk and frustrated that the line for the bus back to campus was so long. So I hooked arms with a random black kid and kept screaming “let Obama through!”as i pushed through the crowd. He thanked me.
I was so drunk that me and my boyfriend thought it was a good idea to have sex on the top of the dining hall stairwell while we waited for our late night food. However, we were outside of a janitors closet and we heard the keys rattle as he walked up the stairs. Once he saw us he gave my boyfriend a high five through the railing and walked back down stairs.