I was so drunk that I tried to type the full story but it exceeded the 600 character limit. Long story short, me and my wingman got plastered at a ratchet bar, got ripped off by a gap toothed hooker while the police dragged me from the wrong motel room to mine, only to contemplate the origin on period blood on the bed and the locations of our missing wallets. Went to work 2 hours later and spent the day half drunk and strung out on caffeine pills, only to drown our sorrows at the same bar and hire another hooker.
Once I got so drunk off of half a gallon of Captains on my 22nd birthday I woke up on a state road to three cops with flashlights. They asked if I knew the time I said “a little after 12am?” They said “No almost 5am” I said “I’m sorry I’m totally shitfaaaaaced” they sent me to the hospital.
Once I got so drunk at my best fiends ex’s birthday party I pissed on the neighbors state cop car.
Once I was so drunk, that my friend’s green sandwich maker caught my eye as I believed it was a Transformer. After carrying it around for a while, I decided to put it in a near death situation so that it would transform. I threw it over the balcony, and ended up havng to buy a new one.
I was so drunk at a party and ended up wondering through a forest, my bra was unclipped and it was so uncomfortable so I threw it off my body then I tripped and lost both of my shoes. my mom picked me up with no bra and no shoes and she didn’t even notice.
I was so drunk that after I left a party with a few friends they lost me in a parking lot and had to search 30 mins for me only to find me passed out near a car.
Me and my friends were 16, we were out partying and I ended up downing half a liter of vodka in about 30 minutes. Puked for about 2 hours before my friends carried me to a friend’s moms car and drove me home and carried me to bed. I got up 9 in the morning the next day, still hammered to go to my girlfriend’s graduation.
I got really drunk at a party and stood up on top of a table and said I was a stripper. I tried to fight my bestfriend, and I ended up in the hospital from too much alcohol assumption. Let’s just say i hate alcohol.
I was so drunk yesterday night at a music festival that this guy came up to me and asked if I’d like to join his freestyle dancing group. All I did was try to get from the stage to the bar.
I was so drunk and frustrated that the line for the bus back to campus was so long. So I hooked arms with a random black kid and kept screaming “let Obama through!”as i pushed through the crowd. He thanked me.
I was so drunk that me and my boyfriend thought it was a good idea to have sex on the top of the dining hall stairwell while we waited for our late night food. However, we were outside of a janitors closet and we heard the keys rattle as he walked up the stairs. Once he saw us he gave my boyfriend a high five through the railing and walked back down stairs.
I was so drunk that I got locked out of a frat house and I figured the best way to get their attention was to punch a whole through their window. It worked. After painting their walls with my blood my friends tried bandaging me up. I realized one of my friends wasn’t there so I took it upon myself to sneak out & look for her downtown. She was still at the party, I was the lost one. Eventually I was discovered wandering the streets. I learned all about my night via pictures and videos… And the chunk missing in my thumb. I have a scar on my thumb in the shape of a mouth that smiles at me every day.
I was so drunk in a student’s club and was chucked out. My friends joined me and while on the way to the house, we stole a christmas tree from a shop and dragged it all the way home. We woke up the whole student accommodation that night trying to fix the tree whilst singing “We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year” for 3 straight hours.
I was so drunk once I sat under a beer pong table talking to a dog while every one kept partying.
Once I was so drunk that a tiny red bike with one peddle caught my eye while walking with my friend through the park. Me being highly intoxicated thought it would be an amusing idea to jump on. I had Asda security chasing me in and out the doors on my tiny bike while shouting ‘you will never get this, la la la la la’ falling off numerous times.
Once my friend was so drunk she came home after a night out and decided to take all the flowers and plant pots from her neighbors garden. She awoke with mud on her face and plants all around her bedroom.
When I was at my best friends graduation party, we decided to start drinking. I got so drunk that I got 5 girls to make out with me, then after that I went in the hot-tub completely nude. I stayed nude for the rest of the night and played beer pong until I puked all over my best friend! Eventually I woke up downstairs in the basement with my ex-girlfriend. Don’t remember anything past making out with the second girl. All on video. pretty much.
Once got so drunk, I woke up in a middle of a desert next to my bro. I was shocked and scared but also very drunk. I walked up to the edge of the hill that we were on… Screamed YOLO and jumped those 5 meters. My bro got up soon after I jumped, he was on the phone telling someone that I was dead. Well I wish I was! Still have no clue how I woke up on that rock in the middle of nowhere far away from home. Nor me or my bro remember anything including how we came back home. I know he is hiding something…
I was so drunk last night that I left a party I was throwing at my house when my parents showed up out of nowhere. I started claiming they were undercover cops and called friends to come pick me up because my parents were about to arrest me. I threw my phone and keys because I thought they were tracking me (still have not found my keys) and finally woke up the next morning in a ditch about 1 and a half miles from home.
I was so drunk last night. Turned 19 I gave a party invited like 20 lads. We had 110 liters of beer and a shitload of Vodka etc. Slammed loads of these and shotted some vodka and then we went to the pub. Shotted some more Jager and the next thing that i remember is waking up on the middle of the road in a parking plot, total blackout. My friends told me that we went to the snack bar to get ourselves some doner kebab and it was full of People and we all got kicked out for being way too drunk. Last thing they remember is me walking away and not coming back.