Alright, so it’s the morning after my 21st birthday and I had one mission, to get wrecked. I’ll check things off in the order discovered:
- woke up naked, hungover as @#$%
- threw up Chinese food + Captain Morgans Private Stock on living room floor (that orange stain is there to this day, 2years later)
- threw up in the bathroom everywhere but into the toilet
- pissed all over my school books
- took a dump on the couch
My friend was so drunk that he made out with his bedroom door while being naked and told the door she was sexy and that he wanted to be inside her.
I was so drunk that I finished passing out naked in the living room where everybody was sitting.
I was so drunk at the end of school year that I ripped my nylons of and was left with “nylon boxers”. I went to pee and wanted to rip of the last of the nylons and ended up ripping my underwear off.
One time I was so drunk, my aunt was driving me home from a party, I frantically ran inside trying to find a washroom I hit my head on a shelf.
Proceeded to go into the washroom (it was occupied)
Went outside (aunt was still parked outside) stripped off my pants and panty and relieved myself then waltzed back into the house (naked from the waist down) and Passed out on the floor. My mom heard all the ruckus, came down , tried to dress me, then Covered me up with a blanket.
I woke up half naked, still drunk, wondering why my head was so bruised.
My father was so drunk that he told me about his childhood and how he met my mother. Communism and World war was involved in his story and I’m only 16.
The first time I drank something else than beer, I drank a full bottle of cava. I ended up having my first real kiss with my 3 female friends and puking in my friends garden and eventually cleaning my vomit in front of my friends mom and little brother.
One time I got drunk and found a baby doll in the middle of nowhere and carried it around like it was my kid then I found a stick that looked like a gun and and went hunting.
So one night me and my friend and sister were at this party. We got so drunk and I don’t even know how we got to the party to be honest.. My sister wandered outside and decided to sit in the middle of the street. I found her sitting there holding this random cat hugging it and crying, my friend probably made out with just about everyone there haha best night ever. Gosh I love being a teenager and having wild nights…
I got my best friend a bottle of Peach Amsterdam for his birthday and after drinking almost all of it with iced tea. He called my dog to come sit on his lap. Soon after, my dog got up and he started crying because “she didn’t love him anymore “. Then, about a half hour later, one strand of hair got pulled out of his head while running his fingers through his hair and he cried about it because he thought he was going bald.
The first time I went to a house party I got so drunk that I picked up a bible and said “God will forgive me for my sins if I read this”.
I was so drunk I decided to peel all the carrots we had in our fridge then when my dad came home I told him I had a headache and went to my room and knocked over everything in my path.
I got so drunk last night I woke up with a different pair of trousers on , lost my clutch and am currently locked outside my bedroom
After a party, I was getting walked/carried home by two of my friends. They were scared that the cops would see us. I was so drunk that I proceeded to hide behind a tree because, and I quote, the cops would never think to look behind there.
I was so drunk last night that I started playing football with the boys pretending to show off my skills then I kicked the ball into the pond that was in the garden, then tried to get the ball out and completely fell into it which had over 20 fish.
Last night I got so drunk I ran around my neighborhood screaming at the top of my lungs ‘I’m the King in the North’. People were opening their windows and shouting at me to be quiet, finally I passed out on my doorstep & I was awoken by the postman, good night.
Once I was so drunk I came home 3 hours past my curfew, sat on my porch eating the stick part of lollipops. When I tried to get inside I was locked out and decided to sleep butt ass naked on my front lawn. My neighbor came by the next morning and woke me up.
I got so drunk one afternoon then befriended homeless people. I tried to beg with them when when church mass ended. Next things in order of happening: more beer, sleeping it off in park full of people with my legs on the pavement, more beers on beer festival, being kicked out, challenging police officer to fight, running away to not get arrested, beers in the pub, losing at arm and bruise my shoulder. Blackout and then waking up at other side of city at 2AM with no idea how I got there.
I was so drunk I woke up near the Hilton Valet with puke stains on my golden colored tuxedo that I had to return in 4 hours. Not only that, I had an interview. 4 hours later I again woke up in the same place, with my hand in my pants. Somehow I left feeling nauseated, stressed from missing an interview and having to pay 450$ for the tux but relieved and unemployed.
I was so drunk one night I made out with my brothers friend and then grabbed his package in the car and announced he was firm.