I was once so drunk that me and my friend went on beach and I peed my pants. It was winter too and my friend told me that I removed my pants and panties and I was holding them up so wind could dry them and I was singing “Let it go” song. She even told me that I was running around the beach without panties and she was chasing me.
Stories in: Miscellaneous
One time I got drunk I literally passed out in someone’s garden in their back yard and they shot off a shotgun round in the air to chase me out I got up and barely made it over their fence that was barbwire thinking how the hell I did it while blacked out without a scratch.
Once we were camping on my friend’s lawn and her parents were drinking with friends and neighbors around a campfire. Later that night, the 3 of us got woke up by moaning and screams coming from the Jacuzzi. My friends father(50) was having sex with the neighbors daughter(25). It lasted 2 hours. 2 fucking hours.
One time I was in a country in south america. In a small town had a few bars. Started drinking. Eventually I remember we started playing that stupid fucking party like a rockstar song. Meanwhile the locals are just looking at these fucking nutcases, us. At some point we found a homeless dude, bought him a beer. We named him taco. He told us he killed someone once. Interesting night.
Went out to a bar with friends. After about 25-30 beers i was so drunk I:
Haggled with the owner of the bar we were sitting with about a picture of Bob Marley.
Broke a pint, and started crying, all while apologizing to the pint I just broke, and using a piece of it to cut my finger.
Bleed so much that one of my friends fainted from the sight.
Went back to the bar, drank some more.
Came home and took a shit in the garage sink, and fell asleep on the floor.
I got so drunk tonight that i just woke up in a freezing cold shower with a broken glass of whiskey and a wet plate of fried chicken.
I got so drunk I tried stealing couch cushions from my living room, then got yelled at by my mom!
One time I was so drunk I got bored as shit and went on this stupid website.
My sister is so drunk right now. She came from the disco, then she put her shoes into the fridge, took off her shirt, grabbed some mustard and went to the bathroom. Now she sitting in the shower, filling her mouth with mustard.
I was so drunk on the last new year’s eve that I told my friends I had to pee really bad, so I made them stand on a circle around me while I squatted and peed on a crowd beach right after some fireworks announced the new year.
Once I got so drunk at a club that my friend had to enter the stall with me, take my skirt and panties of and make me sit so I’d pee inside the toilet.
I was so drunk, I woke up to my parents shaking me on the couch. I had no idea what was going on. “Why am I here?” I thought.
My parents were laughing. My dad said, “where’d you get your cat?” and he pointed towards the end of the couch where my feet were resting. There, also too, rested a young cat. Cuddled up and sleeping on my legs. I’m allergic to cats. To this day, and I imagine until the day I die, how that cat was acquired is a mystery.
My friend told me a story of him and some buddies that were drinking. So they start with tequila and 2 bottles later they all blacked out. My friend woke up in a car downtown, he had keys but the keys didn’t go to the car, he had vomit all over him and had to take the bus back home. A lady asked him why he smelled so bad and all he could say is “I’m not drinking again”
After drinking A LOT of drinks, i had a 1 1/2h bus ride to the town, i finally had to pee, really badly. I tried to hold myself while being on the bus, but i couldn’t. I told my friend that i had to pee, he was drinking on the bus and emptied his bottle. He handed it to me. I lay on the side in the bus seat, and pee into it. It was small and hard to aim into being so drunk. I tried to pee into the bottle and i managed to fill it up a lot, i also pee’d down to the floor of the bus seats. After that i carried the bottle of pee with me out of the bus, passing several people.
So drunk. well, here’s the story from yesterday. And today… I teach in Thailand, got so drunk yesterday that I lost my brain . Emailed ex wife, ex girlfriend, family and friends, everyone – used vulgar language, offended everyone, deleted all accounts, local people saw the white zombie on a way back home. Woke up dead, lost wallet, skipped classes. Lied, got drunk in the morning. I must disappear Or fly to the moon, right now.
One night after drinking a lot I wondered if I could walk around the block naked without being seen. I didn’t make it, a bunch of guys pointed at me laughing and there must have been others. I passed out just inside my front door, still naked.
All different blacked out times: peed on strangers lap getting ride home in packed car, ran around parking lot w my pants around my ankles after the club let out n fell n chipped tooth, squatted in the drainage hole in the bar kitchen cuz the line for restroom too long, humped a gravestone at cemetery bc I figured dead peeps still want to get laid then slipped n fell from the rigorous thrusting n broke my ankle.
Last night I got so drunk I shat myself and peed in the dirty clothes basket. I can’t even look my dad in the eyes without thinking of him washing my shit stained clothes.
Going home after a night of heavy drinking I knock, the door opens, I just walk straight in and I barely mumble, I am very drunk gonna sleep, love you. I didn’t even bother to go the bedroom and crashed to the first couch I found. Finally I wake up around 11 disoriented AF. Turns out when the taxi stopped at my house I got out from the other side of my house so, I basically knocked on my neighbors around 5am which are an old couple and crashed in their couch, they were very cool though they even made me breakfast and knocked on my house to let my girlfriend know that I am at their place.
While at a party with some of my friends, I drank three beers, an entire bottle of wine, and an unknown quantity of vodka. I was so drunk by the end of the night that I apparently starting introducing myself to everyone as “Drunk Jesus” and explained to my best friend that I was really great at cunnilingus.
I woke up the next morning on the floor of my apartment having taken a taxi home, and was informed by my roommate that when he tried to wake me a few hours, I had declared that I was asserting my dominance over the floor and that he needed to leave.