At a house party my friend was so drunk he stole a shovel and started digging out a street sign. He was shouting “Jane I love you! I’ll give you this street sign as a gift!” But then he had to realize that the sign had a 100kg concrete weight underground. He digged out the whole thing, then tried to pull out the sign while screaming for help. “Help me you bullmonkey!” (what the fuck is a bullmonkey?) Suddenly a car came by. The driver asked him what the hell was he doing. He said “I’m trying to be compelling to a girl. Im the compellator!” 4 years later the sign is still 90° slanted.
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