I was so drunk that I shat on my best friend’s car.
I was so drunk that me and my boyfriend thought it was a good idea to have sex on the top of the dining hall stairwell while we waited for our late night food. However, we were outside of a janitors closet and we heard the keys rattle as he walked up the stairs. Once he saw us he gave my boyfriend a high five through the railing and walked back down stairs.
Once my friend was so drunk she came home after a night out and decided to take all the flowers and plant pots from her neighbors garden. She awoke with mud on her face and plants all around her bedroom.
Got so drunk I blacked out. In the time I was out I apparently (according to my friends) ran laps around campus screaming breaking bad lines, endlessly recited shakespeare in an attempt to try and prove I was sober enough for more alcohol, tried to pick a fight with the burly 300 pound football player for “looking like a baboon”, started claiming I was an agent for the CIA, puked everywhere, stripped to my underwear, ripped the paper towel dispenser off the wall and fell asleep on the bathroom floor.
Once I was so drunk that a tiny red bike with one peddle caught my eye while walking with my friend through the park. Me being highly intoxicated thought it would be an amusing idea to jump on. I had Asda security chasing me in and out the doors on my tiny bike while shouting ‘you will never get this, la la la la la’ falling off numerous times.
I was so drunk last weekend and drank way to much fireball that I took my shirt off in front of a group of guys and gals multiple times and I still can’t recall doing so.
At a house party my friend was so drunk he stole a shovel and started digging out a street sign. He was shouting “Jane I love you! I’ll give you this street sign as a gift!” But then he had to realize that the sign had a 100kg concrete weight underground. He digged out the whole thing, then tried to pull out the sign while screaming for help. “Help me you bullmonkey!” (what the fuck is a bullmonkey?) Suddenly a car came by. The driver asked him what the hell was he doing. He said “I’m trying to be compelling to a girl. Im the compellator!” 4 years later the sign is still 90° slanted.
I was so drunk one night that i took my little sis out mudding with me and my guy friends and almost had a threesome in the backseat while she was in the passenger seat.
Once I got so drunk at my best fiends ex’s birthday party I pissed on the neighbors state cop car.
I was so drunk one time that I got completely naked at my buddies cinco de mayo party and talked to his neighbor who was cutting his grass.