Once I bottled down a whole bottle of vodka that I got so drunk and ended up having sex with 5 hot girls from my school in my sisters treehouse
Going home after a night of heavy drinking I knock, the door opens, I just walk straight in and I barely mumble, I am very drunk gonna sleep, love you. I didn’t even bother to go the bedroom and crashed to the first couch I found. Finally I wake up around 11 disoriented AF. Turns out when the taxi stopped at my house I got out from the other side of my house so, I basically knocked on my neighbors around 5am which are an old couple and crashed in their couch, they were very cool though they even made me breakfast and knocked on my house to let my girlfriend know that I am at their place.
I got so drunk, my friends lost me.. then found me 3 hours later outside a chippy with a hot cup of tea in a china cup and saucer.. where the hell did I get the tea from??
While at a party with some of my friends, I drank three beers, an entire bottle of wine, and an unknown quantity of vodka. I was so drunk by the end of the night that I apparently starting introducing myself to everyone as “Drunk Jesus” and explained to my best friend that I was really great at cunnilingus.
I woke up the next morning on the floor of my apartment having taken a taxi home, and was informed by my roommate that when he tried to wake me a few hours, I had declared that I was asserting my dominance over the floor and that he needed to leave.
I remember leaving the bar so drunk, with clothes on. Woke up on my living room floor butt naked with one shoe on my hand and my other hand in a bag of chips. Pulled my hand out of the bag of chips to find I was clutching an unpaid bill from a different bar than the one I remember leaving. Clothes and other shoe gone. Went back to the bar to pay the bill. After some investigation I found out I left with my clothes on, no sign of my shoe or clothes to this day. At least I took my keys, wallet and phone home with me. haha.
So this time I went out with my friends to drink and go clubbing. I got so drunk that I kept challenging the bouncers in the club to a fight, one of them then dragged me to the motel next door and I spent the night there.
I got drunk and ran down my hallway of my new apartment complex naked. Well topless, but on the record my tits are awesome not sure if my neighbors saw or minded but I tend to get drunk and topless
So I got so drunk at my friend’s house, and couldn’t remember the story, but according to my friends, I ran around the house singing “I’m a little butterfly lalalalala” Next thing you know, I throw away the party pizza onto my friend’s lap and rip the box in half and use it as wings as I continue the song. From that day on, I’ve been called butterfly boy
So I was staying in my friends house and their was 3 of us there. But we had a crate of beer and Jaegermeister shots each. So I go outside to get air because I was feeling sick after that I don’t remember. But when I woke up I remembered and was informed what really happened. Turns out I had climbed onto my friends wall and took a shit over the wall into the neighbours house and the dog (which happened to be a Alsatian) had spotted me so I jumped down off the wall and ran inside with my pants down, was an interesting turn of events.
Alright, so it’s the morning after my 21st birthday and I had one mission, to get wrecked. I’ll check things off in the order discovered:
- woke up naked, hungover as @#$%
- threw up Chinese food + Captain Morgans Private Stock on living room floor (that orange stain is there to this day, 2years later)
- threw up in the bathroom everywhere but into the toilet
- pissed all over my school books
- took a dump on the couch
My friend was so drunk that he made out with his bedroom door while being naked and told the door she was sexy and that he wanted to be inside her.
I was so drunk that I finished passing out naked in the living room where everybody was sitting.
I was so drunk at the end of school year that I ripped my nylons of and was left with “nylon boxers”. I went to pee and wanted to rip of the last of the nylons and ended up ripping my underwear off.
One time I was so drunk, my aunt was driving me home from a party, I frantically ran inside trying to find a washroom I hit my head on a shelf.
Proceeded to go into the washroom (it was occupied)
Went outside (aunt was still parked outside) stripped off my pants and panty and relieved myself then waltzed back into the house (naked from the waist down) and Passed out on the floor. My mom heard all the ruckus, came down , tried to dress me, then Covered me up with a blanket.
I woke up half naked, still drunk, wondering why my head was so bruised.
My father was so drunk that he told me about his childhood and how he met my mother. Communism and World war was involved in his story and I’m only 16.
The first time I drank something else than beer, I drank a full bottle of cava. I ended up having my first real kiss with my 3 female friends and puking in my friends garden and eventually cleaning my vomit in front of my friends mom and little brother.
One time I got drunk and found a baby doll in the middle of nowhere and carried it around like it was my kid then I found a stick that looked like a gun and and went hunting.
So one night me and my friend and sister were at this party. We got so drunk and I don’t even know how we got to the party to be honest.. My sister wandered outside and decided to sit in the middle of the street. I found her sitting there holding this random cat hugging it and crying, my friend probably made out with just about everyone there haha best night ever. Gosh I love being a teenager and having wild nights…
I got my best friend a bottle of Peach Amsterdam for his birthday and after drinking almost all of it with iced tea. He called my dog to come sit on his lap. Soon after, my dog got up and he started crying because “she didn’t love him anymore “. Then, about a half hour later, one strand of hair got pulled out of his head while running his fingers through his hair and he cried about it because he thought he was going bald.
The first time I went to a house party I got so drunk that I picked up a bible and said “God will forgive me for my sins if I read this”.